Boy oh boy. It's another "Hallmark" Holiday, but i didn't send any cards. But then i guess there are plenty of people that find other ways to express their love than sending a card. I did try to call family and a few friends because i do care, i just hate feeling like i'm obligated to do anything in particular to "show the world how i feel." Mostly i just play this day rather low key and hope to avoid any bad luck. Okay, after getting through Friday the 13th that probably sounds weird. But, for some reason i never have problems with that day, just Thursday the 12th (which i'm happy to say was a particularly good day) and February 14th. One year i was lucky enough to be part of the "in-crowd" and actually had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. Our homemade dinner was ruined by a trip to the emergency room because i'd come down with an acute ear infection. And no, there was nothing very "cute" about it. Last year the day is clouded in shadow. I can't seem to remember where i was, or what i was doing. Maybe in hiding. I remember the year before locking my keys in the car with it running in my driveway. Wait, sometime around there was the "we are not in love" conversation. My guess is that it was sometime before the date to avoid the obligation to "buy things." I think it's my own fear of the day that causes problems. SO...no fear.

Although technically last night after midnight (making it officially V-day) i did have an intelligent, attractive man flirt with me. But, it was less than romantic since he was drunk and i was not. He was babbling, and shushed me more than once so he could finish his liquid trains of thought. He missed the point that he was trying to impress me with stories of the "far-away" city that was actually my hometown. So, when he tried to pet my hair and poked me in the eye, I decided it was time to go. He seemed to hope to blame it on the fact that i preferred girls or wouldn't date him because i was friends with his new roommate. I told him neither was true and managed to escape without having to mention the real reason. What was the real reason? I guess i didn't enjoy being treated like a doll..."sit there looking pretty, quiet with smile on your face while i talk myself in circles and try to get my sweaty drunk hands on you." I guess in the end attraction is more than a pretty face to me. I need to feel like there is mentally and emotionally some connection, something worth sharing that somehow we can learn from each other. And I know the difference in how it feels to hold the hand of someone who is a lead weight pulling me down rather than a ray of energy that bounces between our palms making us both feel beautiful and light and loved.

So, i'm flying solo today. I'll go dance to some beautiful music made by beautiful people without fear. Because I know that even though I don't have a Valentine today, that doesn't stop me from loving and be loved by all the wonderful friends and family that life has already gifted to me.~w

Now that the snow is finally melted off my property, they are predicting 3 to 6 inches in the next 24 hours. Urgh. Good thing i have propane and food and such at least. I have plenty of ideas to work out though, so perhaps some time with myself to do the work is what i need anyway. For instance, a major overhaul to this site is long overdue, but i know that will take many hours of work to complete. That's the funny thing about big plans...they tend to involve big work.~w

Buddy Wakefield brought the first ever title of World Poetry Slam Champion home to Seattle last night! I'm so happy that a beautiful person and amazing wordsmith from my hometown shone like the bright star he is on the stage last night.

All day yesterday was filled with fun and amazing words. I managed to catch the Head to Head Haiku won by Taz Yamaguchi. Then afterwards was entertained by a low key round robin of haiku and haiku improv. Later after the events were done i was invited up to a round of poetry tag at the hotel that lasted until the wee hours of morning and left me feeling inspired and refreshed.

I didn't know what i was getting myself into volunteering for this event and ended up working my ass off, but i know that the payback of poetry and conversation i got in exchange was priceless.~w