I always start Feb 14th with trepidation. And maybe that's my problem. On a day that the card companies tell us is supposed to be filled with love i find myself fearing freakish accidents. I do have examples to cite as proof, like the year i spent the evening in the emergency room with an acute inner ear infection or last year when i locked myself out of my car with the engine running...in my own driveway. Still, perhaps it is simple an extreme fear of love that has me checking everything twice and holding my breath hoping to make it through the day alive. However, ever since Sept 11th i've been telling myself that the greatest thing any of us can do to fight fear is to love, starting with ourselves. It was written in a rather important book that a rather important man said to "Love thy neighbor as thyself." I think many of us forget that loving thyself is the hard part, and we start inflicting on others around us the same abuse we give ourselves for not being smart, pretty, strong, or whatever enough. So...the challenge i set out for myself today is that for just a minute, a hour or as long as i can manage to love myself unconditionally and hope that that starts to leak out into the world around me. I also challenge you the reader to do the same. It's not exactly a new concept...people have even written songs about it...you know "let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me," etc. For those of you out there that find this to be a piece of cake...i refer you to the Lionessden where my friend Kim offers plenty of marvy ideas for spreading the love in unconventional ways. Peace, Love and Happy Valentine's Day to you all.~w

I've bought myself some more time with more details to investigate and take care of before i step boldly into the unknown. Really, i shouldn't put it that way. What i should say is that i've found a few more details that once hammered out will have me feeling bold enough to step into the unknown. That's more like it. It's all a matter of perspective. One friend who two days ago was terrified i would follow this path suddenly was considering investing in it yesterday. Like i said perspective. It's also about taking one moment at a time and breaking it down into bite size pieces.~w

Just because the stars all line up and you CAN do something...SHOULD you? I'm busy soul searching today to figure out what's best for me.~w

Last night we ate mac & cheese (with some smoked salmon thrown in) and watched Speed Racer and Batman. It was a very full evening. Apparently my six year old friend is working on writing a book that's eleven chapters long. But it's hard with his little brother screaming and his sister yelling and mom and dad trying to talk to each other over the top of all the noise. He's going to have to figure out a time to work on it when it's more quiet because unlike dad he doesn't get his own office. Funny, i have plenty of quiet time typically, but i never seem to sit still long enough to do some serious writing. Oh well. To each their own writer's block.~w

The snow is melting and i have a movie date with a six year old tonight. Things could be much worse. I'm just moving a little slow this morning even though i need to be at work early.~w

I didn't manage to write anything earlier, and now it's later and i can't think of interesting to say about a day that's been spent contemplating where i'm going with my life and coming up with no answers except "one step forward at a time." I know i need to find ways to spend less time in front of the computer.~w