Alright, having already done some work on the Poetry Alive! website this morning, now i'm ready to do the airport runs to get the folks for the next summer residency. Whew!

Last night i took an indulgence break. I took a friend out for sushi as a thank you for all the care she has given my cat when i've been out of town. Then i came home and lit the citronella torches to ward off mosquitoes so i could watch the fireflies come out and dance in peace. I even wrote a bit of a thing that might become a poem. I don't feel like sharing it today though. Maybe tomorrow.

Off to the airport.~w

I'm not nearly so interesting this morning. Maybe it's because i'm not awake yet. I actually came home early from grilling salmon & shrimp with some friends and didn't watch fireworks. However, i spent too much time at the computer last night. Ah well. Maybe i'll be interesting later when i wake up.~w

I woke from a dream that was more like some fantasy adventure novel. I went down into this underground dungeon of stone to help this man escape. i led him past the "guard" who was someone i knew (looked like a guy i work with), and i thought because of that he let us pass without questioning me. We had to scoot down this ledge and across a narrow wood beam held up by only a few rusty nails. In order to cross the beam you had to hold onto this log so you didn't put too much weight on the board. We reached a point where the sluggish brown green river (the river Ankh?) was narrow enough to leap across. We (seemingly one person now) swung under a wood fence (the kind that interlocks with just a couple of rough timbers between posts). We're now in a sunny meadow with a graveled path and safe. Later, we had separated and I was driving some sort of carriage down a cobblestone path (with weeds growing between bricks) at dusk (you know the point when the red and green become vibrant as the light begins to fade...), but the road sloped down next to a stone retaining wall that held a flower bed and somehow i ended up stuck up on the flower bed and had to carefully manuveur to get all four wheels off without getting stuck. I did it and met up with the man again at an old stone building in disrepair where he was having a tense conversation with the "not-so-good" prince who had put him in prison. Apparently the man i helped escape had done nothing wrong except be himself and have this silver ring that looked a bit like the Claddagh but it only had the hands holding heart, then on his other hand there was another ring with the hands holding the crown. I looked down at his hands almost as if they were my own and noticed that both rings were well worn and didn't appear to be anything fancy. I don't know if we were on some sort of holy ground or what, but the prince left in a huff without a fight, but not before letting the man know that he was not his father's son. So we went to the man's father. Again we seemed to be in a stone building, almost cave like, and it was dark night. We sat around a fire talking with his father. I remember distinctly that the father was blue eyed and had buzzed red hair peeking out from his hooded blue cloak. (The man i was with had dark wavey hair that didn't quite reach his shoulders and dark eyes). He confirmed what the prince had said, that he was not the man's father and told him it was time for him to pass through to the next level. I noticed that his "father" also wore the claddagh ring with only the crown. I mentioned it and he told us that anyone we met wearing the ring would be a friend who would help us. Then i looked over to the corner and the "guard" i had seen earlier was there wearing the ring as well. No wonder he let us pass so easily! As we came out of the cave it was now bright morning light. The man walked out naked and offered himself to the prince to be killed. The prince was baffled, but i realized that the only way to move through to the "next level" was for him to surrender to his fears rather than run from them. Then i woke up. And wanted to know what happened next...whether the prince killed him or let him go...i think somehow he has to be set free for the story to continue.

All in all, it's either a very significant dream or simply too much Afro Celt Sound System while playing Baulder's Gate on the computer after a converstation with a Buddhist about surrendering to your demons to progress toward enlightenment.~w

Yesterday i spent a lot of time in the evening chatting with friends. It's a friendly thing to do. Anyway, i found that i'm just not into the "angst of relationship" these days. A friend was telling me all the bizarre emotion games his now ex-girlfriend had played with him. I think there is something inherently funny about the line "You don't love me enough." I mean, how is the other person suppose to respond? "Oh, i guess not, see ya." That would be the logical response, but it seems like most times it creates this chaotic web where the "unloving" partner has to try to prove that they're loving in strange new ways that ultimately seem false. It's the backwards deflective argument i think. "You don't love me enough" may actually translate to "I'm not sure if i love you, jump through rings of fire and show me your best and then maybe I'll love you," or "Give me proof that we're in love and then i'll decide if i love you." Or, here's a little picture analogy, if the relationship is a scale that you are trying to maintain in balance and each person is responsible for lightening the baggage, or weighting down their side then "You don't love me enough" is like the person with the heavier end at the moment flings a bunch of their baggage at the other person to try to bring them into balance. It's cheating in otherwords. Perhaps Leigh Hunt said it best in his poem The Glove and the Lions "'No love,' quoth he, 'but vanity, sets love a task like that.'"

I suppose it's really easy for me to go on like that having not been in a romantic relationship for quite some time. But i think i'd rather be single than play angst games with love. Give me good friends and fun work and i'll be happy. I'm still holding out for a partner in life's roller coaster, but i want someone who makes the journey easier rather than more difficult.~w

If i could draw like Sam i could maybe draw more people to my website like other cartoonists are doing (according to the Mercury News). But when i put pen, pencil, or paint to paper it always looks more like hieroglyphics than illustrations. So, i'd better just stick to words.

I can't decide whether i'd a) write a novel b) run away to the beach c) become a reiki master d) learn gentle bio-energetics e) learn to swordfight f) sit in front of my computer doing something silly like play Baulder's Gate or.... someone called me Wonder Woman yesterday, maybe i should just go out and buy and invisible plane so i can fly around.

Really, i have plenty of work typing other people's writing to keep me busy for a bit. Also, the shows for next year need help and polishing. It's just that, i have this need to figure out to do with my spare time once i have some of it again. Or maybe, i want to figure out what to do when i'm taking a break from the work that i am doing right now. Or maybe i just procrastinating starting my day by pondering all the possibilities. Okay...i should get to work.~w
p.s. if you hover your mouse over the links there is more stuff to read in the descriptions of the links.

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To prove that he could.
Or else, to freak out wendi who was driving the car that had to swerve around him. Yesterday as we were heading down Hwy 46 in Indiana to get from the boonies to the interstate, i saw a lump of something at the side of the road. Then i realized that lump of something was moving. Then i saw this lump had a neck stretching up to a head set with determination as if to say "Get out of my way!," and four legs carrying it rather swiftly (for a turtle) into the middle of my lane. With no oncoming traffic i was able to swerve into the other lane to avoid it and the car behind be managed to clear him, so we're pretty sure he made it. I suppose slow and steady with a stubborn streak will get you where you want to go. I just hope he liked the other side.~w

I'm baaack!

I didn't realized i was going to the land of no phones, computers or cell phones, but i had a good time anyway. I still didn't do any writing, but i sang pretty enough to make the groom teary eyed and played my flute while the squirrels danced to it (like right in front of me on the porch, i felt like the pied piper).

Now i'm sweaty, tired and hungry. The cat has been fed and email has been checked. So, now that the internet knows i've not fallen off the face of the planet...i'm going to take a nice cold shower and feed myself.

G'night.~w