I'm off to play at LEAF again! More when the weekend is done.~w

Sometimes my brain gets in the way. How can you think about how you feel? We're told to do that..."think about how that made you feel." When really feeling the feeling would give you more clarity. I'm not saying we should all revert to animal instincts and do whatever we feel. Rather feel the feeling, let it rise and swell and pass and then the decision about what "to do" may have already made itself. In fact once the feeling has been felt, it may be that nothing needs to be "done." Often the anger or disappointment of the moment is touching the tip of the iceburg of an unfelt feeling. So too with joy. Still my mind tries to take the feeling apart to see how it works, but unlike a machine it's hard to put a feeling back together once you've taken it apart. It tends to disperse and the pieces get hidden in the dusty corners of my memory.

My challenge for today is to feel freely without judging myself or worrying about what needs to be done.~w

I'm so happy i found KEXP. There's something really thrilling for me about hearing the weather in Seattle while i'm at work. Practical? No, but the music selection is a better variety and more to my liking than any station i've found here. Plus, i get to hear a lot of the little indie Seattle bands that i grew up listening to live. Ah, music bliss! I also love the fact that you can read the playlist while your listening and so you can always put a name to the band and the song that catches your ear.

I got to jam with a friend last night and realized i'd been missing that musical collaboration. I've been playing my cedar flute every day, but it adds a whole new dimension when another creative mind is adding to the sound. More fun that a barrel of monkeys i tell you! I must make more music, listen to more music, perhaps just be musical. Good thing i'll be at a music festival all weekend.~w

I must remember to get more sleep before trying to do a show at 8:30am. Yesterday was a bit foggy, the show went smoothly and i doubt any of the kids noticed, but i could tell that our timing was off. It was a great group of kids though. 450 elementary kids who are done with testing and ready for school to be out can be intimidating, but we managed to keep their attention. It's the little things...i think one of my favorite parts was when i quieted down to a stage whisper in Paul Revere as i described the view from the church tower of the graveyard below and they all lean forward wide eyed until i breathe in with a nervous squeak and then they all exhale with a jittery giggle. Really it's the kids that make it fun. I've done these poems a hundred times now and it's their reactions that make it fresh and new each time.

This weekend is the Lake Eden Arts Festival (LEAF) in Black Mountain. Most of the teams will be back for one last shindig before they all head their separate ways. We'll be doing shows throughout the weekend around the grounds, and the rest of the time just kicking back and listening to good music and dancing and enjoying the free food and beverages for performers. Also, it means i have friends arriving from out of town for the big LEAF Slam run by Nave on Saturday. I haven't decided if i'll throw my hat in the ring, but this 7 round showdown of poetry for big bucks is usually quite fun. Until then...i have paperwork to do in the office. Someone has to do it.~w

We did it! We successfully pulled off a surprise party for our friend yesterday. She's getting ready to leave on an adventure and will actually be gone on her real birthday, so we gathered early to surprise her. Hee hee! What fun!

I'm off to play early this morning as soon as my ride arrives. We have a K-5 show today at a school just south of my house.~w

The land line at my house is officially disconnected. I feel like i've been cut free. Just one extra bill i didn't need now that i have cable access. Also, it means that solicitors won't be calling me on it anymore. I think there are only a few people i know who even have that number...and they all have my cell number anyway. You'll notice that the website hasn't moved though. That's because i realized i still travel enought that it makes sense to keep a miminum dial-up plan with earthlink. That way i save the hassel of moving the site or paying for a registered name at the moment and i'll be able to check email from hotel rooms. All in all, with the cable service and the reduced plan from earthlink i'm still paying less per month that i was. Not a bad deal in my book. With that done now i'm free to play...oh, wait i have to go to the office today. Hmm, i think i'll still have to play.

Oh, and i saw Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones yesterday. I think i got my hopes up too high. I had just seen Fellowship of the Ring the day before and was told that it was just as good. I was a bit disappointed. I'd say that i liked it better than Episode 1 by far, but it was missing the sparkle that the first ones had for me. Partly i felt like i was looking for a hero and not finding anyone. Yoda is pretty darn cool, but we didn't get enough time with him. I was also missing the background on the different races and cultures that were introduced. Lots of eye candy, but not much heart. Maybe it's because i know what Anakin becomes, but i didn't find a character to connect with on this journey. Still, it was a fun movie and full of cool effects. But, armies of computer generated things can't replace two humans communicating on screen. I'll be waiting in line for the next Lord of the Rings movie in December though.~w

Okay, so i did mow the yard, vacuum and take the garbage out yesterday. But that means i have no chores to worry about today!

Last night i went to see Lord of the Rings again at Asheville Pizza with a whole gaggle of friends. I love that story. It was fun to see it with other people since i watched it by myself for my birthday. Although i think i've rediscovered my first love, Aragorn.

Now, don't get me confused, i'm not talking about Viggo Mortensen even though he does a fine job of becoming this character on the screen. I'm talking about the man that Tolkein created. I'm talking about being 10 or 12 years old and reading about this king of men, humble yet confident, self-reliant yet generous, a true and loyal man who steps up to each task set in front of him without complaint. I was young and impressionable and i think this ideal rooted itself firmly in my fertile mind. It's kind of like the effect that Prince Godrick had last weekend at the Renn Faire on the 10-12 year old fairies...2 of them are reported to have been kissing the square on the chess board where he stood during the chess match (yes...literally kissing the ground he walked on). But once you've fallen for the epic hero, the knight in shining armor, the prince charming...how can any real person ever measure up? My friend Darlene told me in Jr High that every girl has a prince charming out there somewhere. I immediately told her that mine had been killed by a dragon. That's the only defense that i could come up with for myself. I can't spend my whole life waiting in a tower for some guy to show up...i've got things to do! She insisted that he's not really dead, just knocked out and lost for a bit, but that he'll find his way. I replied with a drawing of the dragon near a pile of ashes. In some ways it seems easier to bury the hope so that i don't waste time waiting and looking. In fact, i would probably rather be the knight himself. Self-reliant and traveling alone to help keep the kingdom safe, and doing whatever i can to put as much good in the world as possible. If i do ever meet that prince, i doubt very much he will sweep me off my feet and carry me away to happily ever after. More likely, we will meet on the path to the next great task and finding that together we are stronger than we were alone, ride off together into the great unknown.~w