I dreamed last night about a guy who was trying to re-enact how he'd run through my sliding glass door on his little go-buggy. The rooms of my house were slightly rearranged so that he swooped around in a circle from the living room through the kitchen and straight into the door. He kept bouncing off of it. There was a green apple stuck between the door and the screen. Another guy was in my kitchen trying to cook or something. I had been sitting on the couch watching and finally had to tell the go-buggy driver that he was angling the wrong way through the kitchen and needed to power through the curve in order to gain enough speed to break through the window. The kitchen man agreed and after that discussion i slipped into another place before the go-buggy man ever made it through the window.

Suddenly (still dreaming) I was in a large office building with no cubicles, only carpet. I was opening gates in this fence of three white wires that only came up to waist height. People were being ushered into the space and asked to take a side. It was some sort of war i think, but there was no blood and no one was dying. The only thing was that after opening a gate i had to stand and turn people away if they tried to come back out again. An older asian woman came toward me rising up through the carpeted floor at the same rate she was moving toward me. I didn't think i'd be able to stop her from leaving, but a man in a suit whose face i never saw and who was tall enough to walk over me stepped into the gateway and took over the job of stopping her. I started running a steam cleaner over the carpet in the hallway to keep doing something useful. A man came in with a vacuum and snickered at me for struggling with it. He said he and his father had stopped using that type of machine long ago because it was hard to maneuver. He was right, but i kept messing with it, just to keep myself busy. I had the feeling that i was expecting another larger group to arrive. I kept thinking, "i'm not a nazi, or a particularly bad person, i can't be killing these people." And i think the thing was, that these weren't people at all that i was helping, but ghosts/souls/not still living people.

I don't know where these dreams came from, but they were particularly vivid. I had gone to sleep quite content and somehow maintained that feeling even though the dreams seemed a little bizarre. Could be that i listened to a lot of Tom Waits music last night at Stella Blue. They were having a benefit for American Red Cross featuring a bunch of local musicians playing a tribute to Tom Waits. It was a fun evening considering that all my friends bailed at the last minute. Funny thing was, i wasn't the only one who was bailed on, so i had the company of a smiling voice. This time we did exchange numbers when it was time for the coach to turn into a pumpkin. (insert goofy smirk here)

Anyway, i want to be out of my house before the roommate moving gets too overwhelming. Right now her mattress is in the kitchen which makes breakfast difficult. ~w

My mind is a glitter ball and my feet are feathers and my dreams were full of a smiling voice that turns my tense muscles to butter. I think i'm officially smitten. Besides, how often do you meet someone who dreams of moving to your secret hide-away. You know, that one place in the world that seems just out of reach right now, but it's left carefully on a shelf in your mind for maybe one day when a) you have money or b) you retire or c) you just decide the struggle is worth it to make it work. Anyway, i had a lovely evening of working out, seeing a show and talking with old and new friends afterwards. Then i floated home wondering why i didn't give or get a phone number, but hoping i'll get to hear his voice again. Is that silly? I suppose so. It's just been a while since i've met someone who there was a chance of seeing again because i'm not leaving town the next day. Please don't think i'm like this all the time, i just needed to relish a bit in the tickle of being dazzled by another human being.~w

I can barely see out my window this morning. The glass is all fogged up from the cold outside. I think i've become a temperature wuss, lower than 50F and i'm freezing. Maybe it's hearing from actors who are in 100F weather in the southwest and i'm remembering being there this time last year. In fact i still have an image of the Acoma Sky City pueblo as my desktop as a reminder of that trip. There's part of me that wants to go back to the northwest to be with friends and family, part of me that wants to stay here because i love the work i do, and this other strange part of me that wants to move to Albuquerque. Well, i don't know if it's Albq exactly, but something close to there, like the little adobe house that a friend of mine has between Albq and Santa Fe. Okay, maybe i don't want to live there year round, but i could certainly spend the next coupla months there. Maybe one day if i ever have some extra money sitting around i can move each season to my favorite part of the country at any given time of the year. Until then Asheville will do. Besides, i feel like i'm hiding out and hibernating anyway, so chilly weather is perfect for that.

By the way...i tried starting a poem last night. It's far from finished, but i finally captured at least a couple of images on paper. I need to go back and look at a different poem i wrote several years ago based on some cards from the Tarot deck and starting with the Tower card.

Okay, i'm very tardy getting out the door. Brrrr. Need more layers first.~w

Fall has set in here with a vengence. I brought the palm tree inside last night because it was dropping down below 40F last night. I suppose we are running out of September. Sometimes it seems like time just flys past me. Each day chipping away at the list of things to be taken care of, dealt with, and done. I need to remember to put "write poems" up higher on that list. Somehow, either by laziness, avoidance, or forgetfulness i keep missing that one.~w

Brrrrr. It dropped below 50F last night and my house is chilly this morning. Even the air outside my window looks colder. It has an edge to it. That's my excuse for this being short. I just couldn't get moving fast enough to get from my bed into warm clothes without freezing. So i had to stay snuggled until i was awake enough to move quickly. I guess it's time to dig out my big fluffy bathrobe again.

Yesterday i organized information for work and then took myself to the gym for a workout and found myself not wanting to do anything but curl up when i got home. I tried writing a bit, you know that poetry stuff i used to do, but my brain is too full of stuff flying back and forth to get decent words on paper. I suppose i'm writing now, but somehow there is pressure to go further. Maybe i'll try again today.~w

No painting this weekend. Too damp. It rained most of yesterday and is still raining today. I'm glad i have shoes to keep my feet dry. I started cleaning away the paper piles around me yesterday. It will be an ongoing process, but i spent a little more money on organizers to help stow away the paper i have to keep. Add to that a little vacuuming and i have a little bit of organized and clean sanctuary in the midst of my roommate's moving.

I had a long conversation yesterday with a friend about relationships, family, military actions, and religion. I suppose we covered a lot of ground. I've decided i need to learn more about the Bahai faith. It's the only religion i know of that seems to include both the teachings of Jesus and Muhammad. One thing i've never understood is why, when a group attacks another group they do it in God's name. It seems to me that all the prophets spoke against that sort of thing. I haven't read the news lately. I haven't had the stomach to absorb it all. It seems to me like there's plenty of work to be done on the personal level anyway to make this world a better place.

Maybe sometime later this week i'll get my thoughts sorted out a little clearer.~w

Muscles are sore, but pictures are framed and the bathroom looks better. I have some painting and cleaning to do today if i ever get to it.~w