My alarm went off at 6:30am and i wondered why the other one wasn't working. Then i realized that i hadn't set it, but then i realized that it was a-okay, because today is Saturday and i have no earthly reason for being up that early. Whew! Back to sleep for me, much to the hungry cat's dismay. I'm finding it hard to let go and relax. I've been so driven this week to get things done that i'm sure there are tasks that need doing today too. Like...laundry, vacuuming, weeding, etc. But i think i can get away with having some fun today if i just relax. I'm thinking a visit with an old high school friend who's driving through, a movie, and a poetry reading are better things to put on the list for today. Still it seems a little weird to be planning my fun with as much determination as i planned getting work done this week.

I think it comes from the fact that i haven't quite caught up with myself yet. Part of me is still standing in awe looking out over the mesa at Acoma, or wandering down Broadway on Capitol Hill on a sunny afternoon, or a million other things in other places that are not here. I've forgotten so many moments and people already that i'm holding on tightly to the ones i feel are important. A woman called the office yesterday and when i answered the phone she asked if i was the one who visited them last summer in Mississippi. I said i didn't know and she seemed truely shocked. Still, i know i've done many shows in Mississippi, i may have been there last summer, but for some reason it didn't stand out enough to stick in my brain. I know i spent a week once in Tuscaloosa (wait was it Tuscaloosa? or where is it that Elvis was born...Tupelo) or Tupelo (i've performed both places, but couldn't tell you which this story relates to) working with a wonderful group of middle school kids. Angela wanted to come with us when we left, and i have to say i wouldn't have minded having her help doing shows. She was labled a "trouble maker" but when it came to performance she was both hard-working and creative. It's amazing, the name of the town and school have faded, but Angela sticks out in my mind like a star on a moonless night.~w

I'm running late. It's okay, i'm allowing myself to be late, because i stayed extra late last night to get everything to the "proof, tweak & mail" stage today. The deadlines will be met that i set for myself without much panic involved. I feel good about that. The teachers will get their poetry and videos and the actors will get their scripts and everyone will be happy!

Besides that my brain has turned to mush and i find myself babbling when spoken to. I slept in though and i'm hoping that will help.~w

I think i went overboard on the obsessive typing yesterday. But hey, it's done! It's amazing what you can do once you set your mind to it. I think Allan thought i was going batty though. I suppose i was a bit. You see usually i have my little crazy corner in the office to myself. So the plan was put on music and type and type and type. Well, then Allan came in to organize his stuff which lives in that corner. So, suddenly there is a person in the space who i would rather talk to then type, but i try doing both at the same time. Then in trots the database specialist to work on the database, and i just happen to have a spot set up in there for my laptop to connect to the ethernet. "Perfect!" he says and now we are three. Amanda came in to hang out and chat with Allan as well and just to top it off 2,000 brochures were delivered to the storage corner of the room amid all this. So somehow during this three ring circus in the normally quiet corner i managed to type up about 25 pages of poetry, make phone calls and end my day feeling like i did something. In the end it was rather fun, it just took a lot of focus. Now let's see if i can keep it up today to get the scripts done. Maybe i am going batty...~w

So i finally got flying yesterday. I managed to get through several of the tasks i had set out for myself and actually felt like i was getting something done. Whew!

I also got to go to a poetry slam. AJ (who just happens to be from Washington as well) ran a lovely little slam that i really hope gets kicking over the next year. There are plenty of poets in this town, they just need a place to read and an audience. I realized though that i'm sick of all my poetry that i have in my head and either need to memorize some other pieces or write some new ones. I'm hoping this will be a regular thing just so i have a reason to push myself to work on my own poetry. Not that i always write 3 minute poems, but at least it's a start.

Now i have to get my head back into a major typing task today, but i think i'll survive it.~w

Ever have one of those days where you want to take on the world, but you keep tripping over your own feet? I fell flat on my face more than once yesterday. It just seemed like the universe was against me accomplishing anything i'd set out to do. I finally settled for accomplishing the stuff that got thrown in my way instead and will try again today.

It's kinda like deciding to take a horse on trail ride, but then you discover that the saddle's broken and by the time you repair it, it's pouring down rain. Or like your sitting down to write this poem that's been running around in your head, but the phone keeps ringing and for some stupid reason you keep answering it until the poem has wandered out of your head. Or you really meant to get to bed, but you keep puttering around doing one more thing until you wake up at 5:00am on the couch where you've crashed and only get to be in bed a couple hours before the alarm goes off.

Today i'm hoping to at least ride the flow instead of trying to walk in the opposite direction, but if i'm lucky the wind will fill my sails and send me where i want to go anyway.~w

What do you get when you cross La Boheme, Absolute Beginners, Strictly Ballroom, and Aladin? Something along the lines of Moulin Rouge. I laughed, i cried, it was better than Cats, i'll see it again and again! Or something like that. I don't know the last time a movie made me laugh that hard and still got me to cry on cue as well. Call me a sucker if you like, but this one ranks up there with The Princess Bride in my book.

So you see, i did have some fun this weekend even if i spent the rest of it working. The lawn is mowed, the new blocking is in all four scripts, and i managed to feed myself too. Whew! Now if my back will just hold out to type up the poetry anthologies this week.

I think the frightening this here is that i'm getting paid to do what i always sort of did for "fun" in Seattle. Looking back i wonder how Matthew and i managed to produce an anthology every month in the middle of the night while i was working 40 hour weeks in the box office from...you know where. Maybe i'm getting old and just like to sleep too much these days. We'll see, maybe as the days start to cool off i'll find some of that old energy. Right now i'm finding that even the mornings are too sticky warm for my taste. My thoughts seem to be meadering in circles...perhaps i'm avoiding writing about how my soul was tickled into a giggling fit, but when i open my eyes i don't see the tickler so i'm hiding behind the things i know that i have control over.~w

Why do i procrastinate? I've been thinking about this after spending a good part of yesterday puttering around doing very little except write some emails and talk to friends even though i had planned on working on the Poetry Alive! blocking scripts. It's not that i don't want to work on the scripts. I actually enjoy it. But for some reason since it's actually work and it's the weekend i felt the need to put it off. Now it's only half done and i have to worry about finishing it today as well as the household chores i've been ignoring. The household stuff is what i'm really avoiding. I kinda feel on my own in this department even though i have a roommate. I just can't tolerate a month of cat hair and dust accumulating the way she can. So, since it tends to bug me first, i end up doing it. I suppose i am better at ignoring soap scum and such in the bathroom and she may feel the same way about that. Okay, no more whining. So, line of procastination logic seems to be, i don't want to do housework, so i put off doing the poetry work by catching up with friends in order to save some of that for today in hope of avoiding more housework. Still, the yard needs mowing and it's sunny and if i don't get out there soon it will be too hot.

I've been procrastinating for the last few minutes by writing this blog. But i do this everymorning...i guess it was ignoring the cat's wake-up call at 9am that was first step in this chain today. But hey, it's Sunday, didn't someone proclaim this as a day of rest?~w