Saturday, January 27, 2001
Well, my head was better today, and the 6th graders at Noble Middle School loved the show and workshops. This was the first public school i'd been to in Wilmington. We've done many shows in the private schools there and it turns out that some of these kids had seen us last year at one of those schools as fifth graders. We were brought in by the PTA mothers who's kids had seen us before. The principal told us that they have a huge range of very wealthy to very poor kids in the school and the PTA helps to bridge the gap by bringing in speakers and performances and sponsoring cultural events that help all the kids. For instance, when classes are studying specific countries in geography they bring in speakers who have traveled to those countries to give the kids first hand stories about the culture. The principal and teachers were very excited about the show and happy to have us there. The principal kept mentioning how what we were doing reinforced poems and topics that he was sharing with the students. One teacher mentioned that one of our Tum Tum trees was apparently an autistic student of hers. We couldn't tell by the way he acted onstage and she was amazed at how he seemed no different than the other students and was able to listen to and execute the directions he was given.
Funny though, despite having what would seem an amazing day i left feeling a bit sad. There was a student in our last workshop who had some difficulty speaking, but used a little computer box to help. Unfortunately the box is limited in phrases and requires time to boot. She raised her hand to tell us what her favorite poem was and then became uncomfortable as we all waited for her computer, she was distracted by her teacher asking her another question and ended up simply answering "I'm happy" with the box. I could tell that there was more that she wanted to say, but was frustrated by how hard it was to communicate. I don't think she raised her hand again during the workshop. Time was limited and we were wisked in and out of there, but i wanted to tell her about Important Grace. Important Grace is a group of poets who meet online to workshop their writing. They performed at the Seattle Poetry Slam several years back and were one of the most amazing groups i have ever seen. Thing is, they all are wheelchair bound and use those computer punch boxes to communicate. They enlisted the help of a couple of speakers to help them with the poems, but also use the boxes to share their poetry. I remember one particularly funny poem that related the frustration of being limited to a group of selected words and phrases to use for holding a conversation. I wanted to tell this little 6th grader about these amazing people who'd gotten beyond the frustration she was experiencing to express themselves more eloquently most of the poets ever to grace that stage. I just hope she's able to find that herself.
Well now it's late, we drove to New Jersey tonight after performing in NC. I napped some, but i tried to keep awake to help ciro from going buggy during the drive. I learned more about Israel today from "Beruit to Jerusalem" as i read to ciro. It's been a very full day, but well worth getting out of bed for this morning (or yesterday morning it appears to be now).~w
wendi's 3:26 AM ravings
Thursday, January 25, 2001
Boy i was wordy yesterday. I don't feel quite as wordy today, but let's see what happens as i begin to type.
We did shows for elementary students in New Zion, SC today. It was fun except for my head being clogged with phlegm. Some days it's just hard to get out of bed, but there's no calling in sick with this job. Can't let the kids down, and there are no substitute performers just hanging around in every little town. I'm not particularly looking forward to tomorrow doing middle school shows again. We're in Wilmington, NC which is a wonderful place and the kids here are typically very cool. I just have to focus on the fact that there will be some small joy that will make performing the Raven with a head cold worthwhile.
I didn't watch the news today. I slept in the car driving here. I'm feeling pretty much vegetal. I did have to make contact with the school in Syracuse, NY where we will be doing a residency next week, but that was relatively painless and easy. What sent me over the edge was getting with my mail from our office a notice of a parking ticket from Long Beach, CA from last September that i had already paid. Unfortunately it turns out that they never cashed by check. So, i could stop payment on the check and pay it again, but my bank wants to charge me $28 to stop payment. Not exactly worth it for me. The frustrating thing was that we had parked where we were told to park. We just ended up staying at the school too long that day and were in the "no parking during this hour to that hour" zone for 10 minutes too long. URRRGGHH. I thought this had be taken care of months ago, but now it's coming back to haunt me. The lady in Long Beach at the parking office was no help either. "We don't have record of payment. You must pay. Pay again, we have no payment." Of course since the ticket is in my boss's name (since his name was on the rental contract for the car) it's not something to let slide or he'd be very unhappy. That's why i paid it right away. Or so i thought. Anyway, the whole business makes me very irritable. Harumph.
I'm going to go soak in the whirlpool tub since i have one for the night at this hotel. Maybe that will help.~w
wendi's 11:44 PM ravings
We did 4 middle school shows today, which means we did The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe 4 times. That's a lot of dreary midnights for one day. But i started thinking...why doesn't the guy just ask a different question like "Will I, will I always be dreary? Tell me truly, I implore." then "Quoth the Raven, 'Nevermore.'" and he'd be fine. He just keeps asking the wrong questions. I mean he says himself that the bird probably only speaks that one word. So, why keep asking him asking him questions hoping to get a different response? But perhaps that is part of the nature of depression. It's hard to see how to turn the events in your life around and make them come out in your favor. It's much easier to fall into that downward spiral and lose sight of the ladder back up. Ciro loathes this poem. I have yet to figure out how to turn it around and help him at least tolerate performing it over and over again. But many sixth graders seem to love it. It offers this glimpse into the unknown dark underbelly of emotion that is so much of adolescence. By the time students get to 8th grade though they seem truly sick of it. Perhaps they've reached the point where they've dug themselves out of depression enough times by then that they see this guy's pleading with a bird as ridiculous. They seem to be the hardest ones to please this year over all, and since Raven is a 9 minute poem, if you don't grab them in the first couple minutes it's a long slog to get through the rest of it. This show doesn't seem to quite tap the pulse of where they are at these days. It's hard to reach 6, 7, and 8th grade students with the same show since they are going through so much during those years of their lives.
Speaking of where kids are at these days, i was reading a bit about Bush's education package (excuse me while i step up on my soap box for a moment). It seems to me that it will create new problems rather than solving problems. For instance, testing provides great statistics to decide how to allocate money, but you have the problem of limiting learning to filling in bubbles. I remember being taught how to take standardized tests in this formulaic way of reducing the number of answers until you had a 50/50 shot even if you had no clue what the right answer actually was. So is the test really recording what these kids know or how well they can take a test? We visited a school where kids were "studying" history. Actually, they were learning the "right" answers for the test. One of them was phrased something like "How were slaves different from free men?" answer: "They had no rights." Ciro asked the students what rights the slaves didn't have and they were stumped. They had no clue. It wasn't going to be on the test. By the way, this was the honors class. Scary? I thought so. So, now Bush wants all the public schools to teach for tests? YIKES!!
Also, there's the whole voucher thing. Let's see how it works. Okay, your child is going to their local public school. That school gets a C or D rating the first year your child is there. The school's funding is reduced for the next year. So, less money for books and other supplies or teachers (meaning that anyone who can really teach starts job hunting in the area). What do you think the chances are of improving the next year? Not great right? But it takes two or three years to close the school and get your kid a voucher to go to another one. Then you get $1,500 to send them to another school. Not nearly enough to get your child into an exclusive private school, but maybe they can be bussed across town to another public school, or across county, or maybe you just have to drive them there if you live in a small county that only has one school. But guess what? Since your student has been in a failing school for 2 or 3 years, they are going to be behind in their grade in most cases. Suddenly they are dealing not only with the problems of a new social environment, but being behind in all their academics. Can we say self-esteem issues here? Is your child getting the education they deserve?
Why are private schools better anyway? They charge a high tuition for teachers with typically less education and certification requirements than in public schools, and less tests. Could it be that they actually foster a healthy learning environment by providing smaller classrooms, better facilities and supplies and more freedom for the teachers to focus on educating students rather than taking tests? Oh, and don't forget the parent involvement. I visited a private school one day where about 50 parents were putting together fresh flower bouquets for "Teachers day." If that many of them can spend a day doing that, imagine what kind of involment they get for PTA, fundraising, and other events.
So what could our federal government do to help? Well, the state of texas sued their government (Edgewood vs. Meno case) to provide funds for building schools and properly supplying them with new books and computers in minority/poor areas. The statistics on texas "closing the gap" between minority and white academic achievement could have something to do with these kids finally having the chance to walk into nice clean schools where everything works and they have access to all the books and computers they need to support their education. (although statistics can be misleading) Maybe we should sue the federal government to do the same for the rest of the country. In order to have smaller class sizes there need to be more classrooms. I've seen too many schools with 10 or more "portables" and any space with a light and a door being turning into classrooms. I've seen too many schools that are dingy and dark and leak and are too cold or too hot and have 50 year old books in their libraries. Many communities are starting to build new schools and add on to their exisiting ones, but the demand is higher than most local tax payers are able to afford.
So, in my humble opinion, if Bush wants to help educate American children he should build and refurbish the schools in this country and stock them with supplies rather than designing a new test to determine who gets funding and who gets vouchers. Harumph.
I'm stepping down off my soap box now.
Sorry for the length of rant, but this was all written offline and i just kept on typing. We're in Manning, SC tonight and out of range of local access numbers again. It's been a rather expensive internet week for me dialing in on the 800 line. But, on the bright side, tomorrow we get to play with elementary students. Yippee!!~w
wendi's 1:25 AM ravings
Wednesday, January 24, 2001
I'm having problems surfing tonight, so i'm giving up on looking for cool things to link to right now.
The shows were a bit rough today. We were in the choir room at the City High in Thomasville, GA and so there were more students than were comfortable being in front of each other, but two few to always find enough willing volunteers. So we had to nearly wrestle them to the stage for each show. Add to that ciro and i disagreeing about some of the blocking before the students arrived and the energy felt like we were slogging through sewage to make it through the show. I left feeling very depressed about how apathetic the students seemed. I wonder how their teachers manage to keep their attention and keep them interested. But, then again i know i slept through several classes myself in high school.
I visited tonight with Gretchen (who was one of my best friends in school) and Robin (who i vaguely remembered as being a classmate). Robin reminded me of the difficulty of dealing with students in high school when she mention that she nearly didn't graduate from high school because of her drug habits at the time. She's been clean ever since the day she had two days to make up course work in order to get her diploma. For many of the kids we talked to today their only goal in the next couple of years was to graduate. Few of them voiced any plans beyond that except for one kid who said "money." I had a hard time swallowing that. I'm pretty happy with my life right now even though i make less than half of what Gretchen does flying helicopters for the navy. Even for Gretchen her job is not about the money so much as it is about getting to fly. I'm a firm believer that loving what you do is worth more in the long run than any salary you make.~w
wendi's 12:23 AM ravings
Monday, January 22, 2001
Got some time to waste? Why not Bejewel yourself? Warning this can be addictive and make time run away from you.
We did shows at Thomasville County Central High and the private school here today (forgive me for not remembering the school name at the moment, i think i'm catching a cold). The kids were very kind to us and the private school also fed us a lovely lunch. Tomorrow we spend all day at Thomasville City High. Then we drive to Jacksonville, Florida. In Jacksonville i'm planning to have dinner with a friend of mine from high school who found me on Classmates.com recently. We haven't seen each other in about 10 years, but i've know her since about the 3rd grade. I remember being really excited about getting to play Pong at her house. That was long before my dad got his first Atari machine. I'm a little nervous about it, we've both probably changed a lot since those days (i know the video games certainly have). We're both living the traveler's life, but she's doing it with the navy flying helicopters, while i'm visiting schools with poetry. Rather different worlds. I'm interested to see how much we still have in common.
I really have blocked out most of high school myself. By the time i got to college there were just too many things more interesting than holding on to the frustrations of high school. It's interesting that we're spending so much time with high shool students right now. I'm always trying to compare the schools to what little i remember of my own. Times have changed though. The students no longer worry so much about the "cold war" and nuclear warfare, but guns and bombs and unexpected terrorist tactics. The pressure to succeed is even higher than i remember. In one school a few days back we visited an honors history class. The students were talking about test scores and exit exams and finding the "right" answers for questions rather than discussing the ideas around the answers. I remember taking the SAT once in junior high as a "pre-test" for those of us in honors and then those of us interested in college taking the SAT for real in our junior year. Now it seems the SAT and AP tests for college have taken a backseat to local testing regulations. I have a feeling it will only get worse under the new administration. Suddenly students are not only responsible for their own learning, but also for scoring high enough to keep funding coming to their school. I certainly wouldn't want to go back to high school today. So, we'll see how it is to catch up on old times with this grown woman who i still think of as a childhood playmate from long before tests and scores and dollar signs.~w
wendi's 10:57 PM ravings
Sunday, January 21, 2001
We're in Thomasville, GA tonight with no great fanfare. Nobody lined the streets to see us arrive, nobody met us at the hotel. No grand balls were held in our honor. But we're here. Tomorrow we face high school students who won't know our names when we arrive, but may remember us when we leave. I've just been reading about Laura Bush's day of living "a librarian's dream."
Actually, i kinda like my life the way it is. I unpacked my bags and settled into my hotel room to putter and watch TV and do only what i chose to do for a few hours. No handshaking and making small talk with strangers over dinner. There's enough of small talk during the day. I didn't even take a shower or put on makeup before packing myself into the car this morning. Why bother? Do i really need to impress the cashier at the gas station or the clerk at the hotel lobby? I mean, if i was home it would have been the equivalent of a day spent puttering around the house and how many people dress up for that? Besides the fellows still will talk to you no matter what your wearing. I was doing laundry at the hotel last night dressed in my last clean clothes and a guy started talking to me. I was at the candy machine in baggy pants and a t-shirt tonight and this guy let me know about his favorite new candy bar (i tried one, it was a tasty chocolately treat with a nice crunch). Granted, guys by themselves in hotel rooms probably don't have many people to talk to, but they certainly weren't scared away by my unwashed appearance. But tomorrow i'll be squeaky clean with makeup on my face so as not to scare the administration. Actually high school is probably the most fashion conscious place in our society. Though school uniforms in public high schools are even turning that around. I actually used to wear nylons in high school, but darn if i've found the need to wear them since. I used to have a few pairs of tights for cold days in seattle, but those have long since developed enough snags and holes to make them unwearable. Not that i don't like getting dressed up on occasion, but i haven't had the need to much lately. It's a lot more fun when it's a special occasion too. Then it seems like it's worth the trouble.
Nothing much else is new, so i guess i'll go take a shower.~w
wendi's 11:32 PM ravings
For excitement today i walked around the Foley's Riviera Center Factory Stores. They had lots of stuff, but nothing i needed to buy. Ciro and i tried on shoes as our excuse for being there, but nothing was "just right." The right shoes can be very important. It's seems silly, but when your own body is your greatest tool for this job it's important to keep it feeling right. For doing the shows i found a great little pair of jazz dance sneakers that fit the bill. They were on sale at a small dance shop on Long Island and i snapped them up. They've been one of the best shoe purchases i've ever made. It was a hard change for me. I've been wearing doc marten's for about 10 years (and still have a pair for everyday wear), but they don't offer the flexibility i need for a show. These little shoes let me bend and flex my feet, offer great cushiony spring and are very light. They are perfect for bouncing around the stage. However, after the show i need something that will keep my feet dry in puddles since they only have a sole under the ball of the foot and heel (that's why they're so flexible). My docs are great for that, but they are heavy to pack and hard to get in and out of in the car. I found a cheap little pair of clogs (at a Factory Brand Shoes outlet store) that i've worn to a frazzle in less than a year, and my birkenstocks are trashed as well. So, i had a good excuse to shop for shoes (see how easily i justify spending more money? i'm a good little consumer). While a good pair of handmade shoes would probably be ideal, they're way out of my price range. The trick then is to find the best pair i can that support my feet, are easy to get in and out of and don't rub my feet raw in funny places. I find the best time to shop for shoes is when my feet are tired. That's how they usually are after a show anyway and i want a pair that will make grumpy feet happy again. If i'm lucky i might even find some that look decent to boot, mostly i just want them to be black. I want to see if i can find a Mephisto store somewhere along the way to try on their shoes, of course then price becomes an issue. Ah, the lengths i go to to make my feet happy...
It's rather sad that my great entertainment today was shopping, but sometimes that's how days go. I had spent the morning and early afternoon catching up on banking stuff and cleaning up my hard drive to make it run faster. Since i don't have a desk, it's kinda like cleaning my desk i suppose. We did have a good dinner at a little local place called Fish Camp. I had the sauted amberjack with spinach sauce. Very tasty. The restaurant also had one of the coolest salt water reef tanks i've seen outside an aquarium. they had all kinds of anenomes and sea snails and starfish along with a bunch of very colorful fish. The hermit crabs were very cute too.
Tomorrow we drive to Thomasville, Georgia. We're certainly getting a good dose of small southern towns. I'll probably be drawling by the time we drive to New York.~w
wendi's 3:07 AM ravings
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