tested

I've put my first set of mid-term grades into the school computer. I used to think that taking tests and getting the grades was the hard part. Now I realize that creating the assessment structure and giving the grades is far worse. There will always be students who need more than you have time to give them. Each student is a unique individual with their own set of needs and desires. Reaching each student every day is the tricky part. By middle school they also begin separating into groups and labeling each other smart, dumb, good, bad, beautiful, ugly, and more. I forgot how the majority of students get caught up in the grouping and labeling and dating and such and lose track of finding their own path in an effort to be liked. How do you make each day's lesson more interesting than heartbreak and gossip?

I've already come up against the problem of being too honest for public school. I'm typically a rather open person, but I've already been scolded for answering off topic questions that seem to send the gossip wheels spinning in directions I would never have dreamed up. It's amazing how a tiny bit of information can be warped into something completely different by the time it's shared more than once by kids who didn't really understand what was said in the first place. I think that is one of the things I was most grateful to get away from when I went to college. Now, by teaching, I find myself right back in the middle of it. I love theatre and music. I love working with young people. However, the psycho-drama is getting me down. I know that text messaging is big and many students spend time online. One student pointed out to me a website where many of the students have pages. I found it rather disturbing to see that some of my middle school girls have listed their age as 17 or 18 in their profiles. I am pretty sure that they are unaware of what kind of danger they are inviting. It worries me.

A friend who is a retired teacher told me I need to be tougher. I don't enjoy being tough. I'm the kind of person that feels like crying after yelling at the dog for being bad. The disruptive, loud kids should be in drama class. If nothing else it can be a place where all their crazy energy can be put to good use instead of bottled up and pushed down. Creative, artistic people are not "normal." So, how do you start sending kids out of the room for discipline without ending up with the whole class down at the principal's office and still be "fair" to each student?

harrumph. Enough for now. I need to spend sometime studying to be a better teacher and human now myself.~w